Masters of the Universe is an absolutely awful movie, but like most awful movies in of it’s ilk I can’t help but watch it whenever it’s on. It goes into that strange Batman & Robin territory of ‘so bad it’s good’. The truth of the matter though is that I used to think this movie was incredible.

Growing up, I wasn’t really into He-Man much. Sure I watched the cartoon quite often, but I never loved He-Man like I did Ghost Busters and Ninja Turtles. When the live action film hit video (I didn’t see it in theaters, though I remember wanting to) I loved it. I remember being so glad there was no crappy Prince Adam to deal with, and to this day that’s one of the film’s biggest strengths. Face it, Prince Adam is the worst. When you’re watching He-Man all you want to do is see He-Man fighting people. You don’t want to have to deal with Prince Adam. So it was a wise choice to cut out Prince Adam from this movie. I guess it would be kind of like making a Spiderman movie where Spiderman is never Peter Parker, but I suppose that would be kind of awesome too.

Despite this being a plus, the filmmakers manage to replace Prince Adam with something worse, two stupid teenagers. This essentially gives the audience two Prince Adams to deal with. It’s one of those movies that is ashamed of the fact that it’s dealing with a licensed kids property and masks it behind the guise of regular humans in a cheap and easy effort to make the audience connect with their story. This is very similar to the approach Michael Bay takes with his Transformers movies, where despite being called Transformers, is really about Sam and his relationship. In this case, He-Man isn’t really about He-Man. It’s about Courteney Cox and her boyfriend, and Courteney’s journey to fixing time so her parents don’t die. He-Man, much like the Transformers, is only used as a way to tell that story. Going back to Spiderman again, it would be like making a Spiderman film where some made up character is the main character, and Spiderman is only around to set things in motion and fight bag guys for that person. Come to think of it, I guess if they made a film about Spiderman in which there was no Peter Parker, it would probably be exactly like that.


My DVD/Blu-Ray Pick
Knight & Day

Knight & Day – there really wasn’t anything great to pick this week for DVD and Blu-Ray. I chose this one because it was a pleasant surprise when I saw it over the summer. I had no desire to see it at all but on a boring, rainy day down the shore it was the only thing playing at a decent time. I actually laughed a lot more than I thought I would. Tom Cruise was pretty damn good in it. Its an action comedy so you get all the car chases and shoot outs but with some laughs. Its not a great movie by any means but it was enjoyable as a summer popcorn action flick.

My Theater Pick
Black Swan

Black Swan – this is only going to be a limited release this Friday but its the movie I am most looking forward to out of anything else hitting the theater this weekend. Darren Aronofsky made films like Pi, The Fountain and The Wrestler. But his movie that is one of my favorites of all time is Requiem For A Dream. He’s a very unique director and always taking on projects to challenge himself. He actually just signed on to direct the next Wolverine movie which is a very odd choice for him. But I instantly got excited about that movie after he became a part of it. Anyway, Black Swan is a trippy, weird looking movie about battling ballet stars played by Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman. That might sound like garbage but go watch the trailer. Its a total creepfest. And I’d be lying if I said the hardcore make out scene between the 2 chicks didn’t get me excited too.


Slowly getting that old content back onto the site. Just in time for Black Friday, I once again present Black Friday Blues.

Like most of our older stuff, I’m not exactly pleased with how this short has aged. I still think it has some decent enough gags (more so than Candy Corns at least) but it does lack direction. It just kind of happens and then that’s it. I won’t lie, originally it was planned that Grey would make it to work and be completely bombarded with customers, but I saw how much time I had to work on it and knew that wasn’t going to happen. From there I just decided that maybe it would be best if Grey didn’t make it to work. After releasing it, I had the intention of making a “Black Friday Blues: Part 2″ where we would see Grey at work, but well, you know how it goes. Anyway, happy shopping tomorrow you suckers.

Thanksgiving with the Mitchells

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, so I figured it would be a nice time to thank you people that frequent this site, hang out on our boards, or simply enjoy the work we do around here. So thank you for being there and supporting us! I’d say something like I couldn’t be here without you, but… well I’d probably still be here regardless of you. I’m not really anywhere, and I just do this shit for fun. Sorry guy.

On a personal note, tomorrow will be the first time my wife and I celebrate Thanksgiving at our home. We usually go to either my parents place or her parents, but this year I decided to stay in since the babies are still young yet. I’ll most likely have baby duty while Dem makes tons of delicious food (though I’m not looking forward to cleaning it all up). All I know is that I can’t wait to stuff my face. Is it wrong to just want to do nothing but eat and eat and eat? I’ll most likely want to throw up all over myself by the time I’m done, but it’ll be worth it.

As we have family coming over, I’m hoping I’ll be able to get some time and escape into the now dusty Shamoozal dungeon where I can render out a version of Black Friday Blues for YouTube. Last time I was down there it was littered with beer bottles and unfolded laundry. I really need to get back into my space… I’m counting down the days to when the babies will go to sleep early and be on a set schedule. Maybe then I’ll finally be able to get back to work. That would be nice, wouldn’t it?


Voldemort's Fingers

I was going to write up a small review about Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows Part 1, but instead I’d rather focus on something that’s been bothering me since Goblet of Fire. Voldemort’s Fingers.

I can’t stand looking at Voldemort’s worthless fingers. Does it drive anyone else absolutely insane that he can’t bend his fingers? It’s so unnatural looking that almost every time I see him I concentrate on nothing but his hands. I understand that he’s most likely been fitted with some sort of prosthetics in order to make his fingers look longer, yet I don’t see the benefit of his longer fingers. I was really looking at them during Deathly Hallows and his fingers don’t seem that much longer than they already are. They might be longer, yet they don’t appear to be longer. I suppose he has crazy finger nails, but couldn’t something like that have been fitted on the top of his finger, or at least something fitted towards the middle of the finger so he could still bend that part? As it is, he can barely bend the base of his fingers. It drives me bonkers. Look at the way he introduces himself to Dumbledore in the below clip (around 1:37).


My DVD/Blu-Ray Pick

The ExpendablesSylvester Stallone did something special for his latest film. He brought together action stars of today and yesterday to make a ridiculous ensemble cast. Names like Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture and cameos from Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mickey Rourke and plenty more. Its an old school action lovers’ dream. Sly Stallone knows how to cater to his fans and I hope he continues to make films his own way. Even though I wish this movie could have been more than what it was, its still a decent action flick and I’ll continue supporting the man who brought us Rambo and Rocky.

My Theater Pick

FasterThe Rock stopped being The Rock and started making family friendly films a few years ago. He was bashed by his professional wrestling fans and action movie fans in general. He was being looked at as a possible new age Arnold Schwarzenegger with cool action flicks like The Rundown and Walking Tall. But he didn’t want to be typecast into the macho action guy. He became Dwayne Johnson, the actor. But now it looks like he’s reaching back to his badass roots for an R rated, violent, shoot ‘em up type movie. Hopefully this sparks something in his brain and makes him realize he’s meant to do these kinds of flicks.


Elder-Geek's Fallout Marathon

Since we’re sitting the whole marathon out this year (and probably for eternity at this rate) I’d like to direct you towards a marathon our pals at Elder-Geek will be doing this weekend. Starting at 5PM tonight, the gang at Elder-Geek will spend the following 46 hours playing nothing but Fallout: New Vegas all in the name of charity (Child’s Play charity to be exact). They also have a bunch of sweet prizes (copies of Fallout, Dead Rising 2, Amnesia and MAGFest passes) they’ll be handing out as well to the people that donate 10 dollars or more. Should be a good time. So if you’re in the mood for giving and lots of post apocalyptic action, head on over to Elder-Geek’s Fallout hub!

Castlevania Lords of Shadow

Considering how much complaining I’ve done in the past about Konami bringing back the barbarians, I felt that I should take some time out and reflect on Lords of Shadow, the recently released Castlevania game in which the barbarians have been… uhh… broughten.

Lords is the very definition of an ambitious game. This classically designed single player experience borrows from many different genres and introduces so many new mechanics and ideas that the first few hours leave the player confused and frustrated. The God of War inspired combat feels natural enough at first, but it isn’t before long where the player will discover that pounding the attack buttons will get them nowhere. Once players finally get a feel for that, they’re asked to conquer Shadow of the Colosuss inspired Titan battles, which once again introduce a new set of rules. Factor in the increasingly complex battle mechanics (the game slowly introduces different magic types, new items, and plenty of useful combats and gadgets) and Uncharted style platforming and players will find themselves in over their heads. Let us not forget the many different puzzles also sprinkled throughout the game to break up the fighting and the jumping (each of which can be bypassed by the player if they chose, though the player will miss out on valuable experience points for skipping them).

Thankfully the long length of the game (which is impressive for a single player campaign these days) allows the player enough time to adjust to everything the game tries to teach them in those first few levels. By the mid point most players that haven’t given up will be one with the deep combat system and they’ll be experts at dodging, making use of well timed blocks, balancing between dark and light magic, and have no problem spamming monsters with holy water and fairies. The game demands a lot from the player, but patient and persistent players will be rewarded with a really well thought out combat system.