If there’s something I hate, it’s my back. I have a tendency to throw it out of whack every now and again, and every time I do I’m generally in bad shape for weeks. It’s always the same place. You know that lump beneath your neck (ahem…that would be called the 7th cervical, but who’s counting)? Well, right below that and the shoulder blade is my sweet spot for pain.
This is my face whenever I pull my back.
I think it’s this area because I used to slave away as a food server for years. I used to carry trays brimming with some of the nastiest foods available to mankind to make a living. I was really good at it. I could balance forty pound trays loaded with flesh searing skillets on my fingertips…sometimes even a second one in my other hand! Damn I’m good! Lo, it’s probably also how my back turned into such a mess.
The thing that slays me every time is that I’m generally not doing anything that would warrant a thrown back. I’m clearly incapable of playing sports as I’m the only person in the world who has broken his collar bone playing waffle ball in the street.
I wish I was making that up.
No, I’m not throwing the good old pigskin around when I throw my back out. It generally happens when I’m, oh say, bending down to tie my shoe. It happened once when I was turning around to hit a light switch on the wall. Obviously, these are not events where one would expect to loose the ability to look over their left shoulder for a week.
This time, I was simply getting into the shower. And before Jim jumps to any conclusions, no there was no funny business involved…I was half asleep as I just woke up. I stepped in, didn’t turn the water on yet, and WHOOP there went my back. I tried to pretend it didn’t happen. I was in denial. However, it DID happen, and now I have to slug away Advil Liquid Gels and hang out with a heating pad while I watch “24”.
Thankfully, it’s been happening less and less, and with not as much severity. Maybe it’s because I don’t work in the restaurant biz any more. Now, I get to work in a far less physically stressing career in front of a computer. Now, all I have to worry about is carpal tunnel syndrome and my elbow feeling like its on fire all day, and recently there’s been a strange tingly feeling in my legs from sitting on my ass for 12 hours a day.
I should just be like Jacquo and sleep in the street. But then, I guess I’d have to worry about my teeth falling out and people pissing on what serves as my bed behind a dumpster.