I work in New York City, but live in New Jersey which means I have to commute. I take the bus in everyday to work, and as most people will tell you it’s not exactly chocolate and feathers. In most cases you’re jammed in there with someone’s armpit in your nose or you have to stand until a seat opens up. You meet many a whacky person on the bus. Today may have been the day when Phil saw the Wicked Witch of the West on Broadway, but tonight was the night I saw her on the bus heading to Patterson.

I’m actually not sure if this is a Whore Daddy or a Clutch because I was laughing my ass off during the whole ordeal, but it was also one of the most insane displays of humanity I’ve seen lately.

I finally caved and bought a Dual Shock 3 controller for the Playstation 3 yesterday so I could get in on some Soul Calibur action with my wife, and whoever else happens to come over in the future and would like to play a round or three. After nearly slicing my hand trying to pry the controller out of that awful and flat out dangerous plastic that companies continue to wrap their products in, I saw that the Dual Shock 3 didn’t come with a USB cable for charging the controller. I guess Sony assumes you already own a cable for the device (or maybe a few others for all your other computer products) that they could skimp out on including one. Guess what? I just paid the price of a brand new and since I can go right over to Amazon and buy one for a penny, I know price isn’t a factor.

Second, I went to turn on the controller so we could actually play the game and it wasn’t even charged! Not only does it not come with a cable, but the controller isn’t even charged once you finally get the damn thing out of the package. So I had to find the 2 inch USB cable Sony included with their console and wait a half hour until I could play a little 2 player action in Soul Calibur 4. I don’t care if this sounds like petty bitching, and seriously, can you ever have too many USB cables?

Don’t know what I’m talking about? Well…

I can’t stand these shitty Match.com ads. I don’t use MySpace very often, but every time I do these stupid ass ads have to pop up. For the love of god, who thinks these things are a good idea? Do they really think that by showing a somewhat attractive lady acting like she’s interested in an IM conversation is going to make people want to use their service? The only thing this girl is interest in is her pay check. I guess these must actually work, because they’ve been using these ridiculous ads for a while now. I suppose I’m guilty of watching every one I see multiple times because I can never get over how stupid they are. I’d love to be there when they are filmed. Is it really silent and creepy in the room like how the ad is displayed, or is there some dude in there saying absurd things to her to make the girl laugh here and there? You know what, I don’t care what the answer is because I already know I don’t give a shit.

I’ve been using Flash professionally for maybe the past 5 years. Certainly, it has had its share of ridiculous bugs. It has earned its reputation for making entire objects disappear when a single point is deleted, you couldn’t use the brush tool (thus not being able to draw) in a flipped symbol, and a line is going to go wonky on you if you push and pull it more than once. In my experience I’ve seen an entire piece of artwork go away if you drew on it in a manner that displeased Flash. You never knew when any of these and many, many more instances would happen while you worked. They would just happen.

Well, as most people already know, Macromedia was bought by Adobe a few years back, and Flash has fallen under their “Creative Suite” banner. Many of these bugs have been worked out in Flash CS3. You can thankfully draw in a flipped symbol now which I can tell you is huge. However, the touted video support is leaving much to be desired. I think I’m still going to do a PNG export and bring that into After Effects as Flash’s Quicktime support still has its quirks. But this is not what’s prompting me to type this Whore Daddy up.

Now, I’m not talking about the song and I’m not talking about poor old Rudolph himself… I’m talking about the TV special with all the goddamn puppets. It’s not the puppets that bother me either… they were pretty damn innovative for their time. My problem with Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer… is that every single character in it, other than Rudolph and the little elf dentist Hermie, is a complete and total asshole.

Seriously now, I was watching this with my daughter and I was just cringing at the way these rat-bastards treat Rudolph like a total piece of shit. Let’s go down the list shall we?

This is just the warm-up round for Friday night (SRP#11), but seriously… This shit makes me disgusted to play video games. I mean, it’s not like I expected anything worthwhile from Spike TV, but jesus christ…. this is just total garbage. So sit back and get fueled up with some hate… make a game out of it. Smash a Halo 3 flavored can of Mountain Dew on your head every time someone makes a joke about the fact that she show is in Las Vegas. You should be out of Mountain Dew by the time this 9 minute clip is over.

And for shit’s sake… what are the friggin’ assholes from The Hills doing there!? I’m going to go slash my wrists now.

Figured I’d kick off the Halloween fun with the above video. Funny story about this god awful and weird video. Frank, feel free to correct me in comments, but I think it goes a little something like this.

Many years ago, we were getting Comcast High Speed Internet installed at the house. Naturally a Comcast employee comes to the home and begins to install god knows what to get their software working. Anyway, the guy says to Frank “Check out this video of my buddy dressed as Mr. Softie” and then proceeded to download the video to our desktop. Yeah, it’s weird, and I probably have the story wrong, but that’s the gist of it.

Once in a while I’ll read through my web logs to see current trends with the site. For instance, I like to read what people type into search engines in order to find the site. The usual suspects are searches for different video game and animation terms. However, one thing that keeps showing up in these logs are searches for porn, and not just any porn, Rescue Rangers porn.

I don’t know how that search term leads to this site, because I don’t think I have ever written about Chip & Dale’s Rescue Rangers on here before, let alone presenting porn from it. For those who don’t know, Rescue Rangers was a cartoon show from my youth, and Gadget is the little mouse girl that hangs out with the group. Apparently, from nerds between ages 24 and 40 something, Gadget is hot. So hot in fact, that it leads them to seek out naked pictures of her, and then god only knows what happens after that.

Please, stop embarrasing yourselves and STOP looking for naked pictures of a cartoon mouse. Good god man. Now, worse things have been searched for that lead people to this site (and I don’t even know how really) and I wish I could actually get those people in trouble. I’m not kidding when stuff like “little boy porn” pops up in my search logs. What the hell is with these people? If I could get an IP address or something from the people who search that crap, I would gladly hand it over to authorities or Chris Hansen. Now while Gadget porn is in no way as terrible as that other stuff, it’s still really damn sad. It is a cartoon mouse for crying out loud, with big floppy ears and a button nose. You mean, all the porn that involves real humans on the internet isn’t good enough for you? I’d hate to see your hard drive. Come on people, move along, there is nothing to see here.

I’m really tired of being honked at for being a careful driver. Nearly every day when I leave work, some asshole thinks it’s a good idea to honk at me and I’m sick of it. See, I have to make this impossible left hand turn upon leaving the parking lot. The turn actually leads directly onto the highway I take to go home. There are many things that go wrong here, but the number one part that sucks is that there is no green arrow for people trying to make the left onto the highway. At rush hour, this basically means you can’t move until the light just about switches off of yellow and then to red. Allow me to show you what I’m talking about, and please excuse this crude drawing that I did with my mouse.

Okay, I’m the red arrow trying to make the turn. What happens is that thanks to the green arrows, I can’t see when the blue arrows are coming. Sometimes there might be a moment or two when I could potentially make the turn, but it is a tough risk because like I said, you can’t see the blue arrows. This is mostly due in part to all 500 SUV’s that are making their left hand turn (the green arrows), that are so big you can’t see around them. Anyway, whenever there is that gap between the blue arrows is when I get honked at. For the love of god, stop honking at me!

So today was some kind of Apple Circle-Jerk-A-Thon where all the faithful gather to see what Steve Jobs pulls out of his jeans pocket. SURPRISE! Its a NEW iPOD! How did anyone not see that coming? I mean, for the past two years, all Apple does is announce new iPods at these things. Oh, and apparently a new OS is in the works that will give you the ability to travel through time.

The real killer for me is they dropped the price of the iPhone by 200 beans. That’s quite a price cut for only being out on the market for a total of three months. If I would’ve waited in line for that POS on day-one only to have its price that drastically cut this soon, I’d run it over with a building and bury it in a volcano. They also redesigned the nano which I now think looks like a marshmellow, and there’s a new iPhone…that doesn’t have any email functionality or a phone in it either. Its basically a fancy-pants iPod that will have its price cut in half by December. Oh, and the best part about this whole experience for me is when I went to Apple’s website, it crashed Firefox. Nice! Apple, you’re a whore daddy!