I suppose I’ll begin things with the good news first. If you haven’t already heard, Konami has announced Contra 4 for the Nintendo DS. Being a ridiculously huge Contra fan, I’m rather pumped about this news. The bad news is that it is being developed by WayForward Technologies based in CA. The fact of the matter is that when Contra isn’t developed in Japan, horrible things happen. The first terrible thing can be found directly in the press release.

“Contra 4 takes place two years after the events of Contra III: The Alien Wars. After saving earth from invasion by Red Falcon, Bill Rizer and Lance Bean are confronted with a new extraterrestrial menace: the terrifying Black Viper. Joined by hard-boiled mercenaries Mad Dog and Scorpion, the warriors must once again wage war against an entire army of invaders.”

Whoa, what?

Last time I checked Mad Dog and Scorpion are Bill and Lance. I mean, it took us Americans long enough to wrap our minds around the fact that the names Bill and Lance were lost in translation, but now WayForward is going to screw up the entire time line by claiming Mad Dog and Scorpion are separate people. Geez… who are the bosses behind Black Viper? Jimbo and Sully? Thanks guys, you now made the work of hundreds of Wiki-ers a heck of a lot harder.

P.S. I don’t care if WayForward made Shantae, you probably never played that game anyway, so save it.