At some point or another during our gaming careers, each of us makes the mistake of trading in games to Gamestop or EB Games. We usually get burned, yet for some reason or another we go back and do it again. Recently, I decided that I have once again sworn off trading in games, as I’d rather just keep them for the sake of keeping them. My library would probably have 20 - 30 more titles in it if I didn’t give them up to Gamestop. If I trade in a game, it’s usually because I have no love for the title, but there have been times where I regretted trading stuff for credit, whether it was a turd or not. The most offensive case stems from when I was just a youngster, unknowing of how Gamestop handles their customers.

I’ll never forget the first time I traded games in for credit at Funco Land (before Gamestop bought them all out, but let’s not kid ourselves, all these stores are the same). I remember it vividly, even at the tender age of 11; I knew these jerks were taking advantage of me. I walked into the store with copies of awful NES games, The Simpsons: Bart Vs. The Space Mutants and Wrath of the Black Manta, along with Populous for the SNES. Being a child and unfamiliar with trade in policies, I was sure that three video games would surely get me one new video game. So the clerk took the games from my hand and began to scan them for their value. He told me I’d get 3 dollars for Bart, which made me a little upset, but I knew it was a crap game and let it go. Surely, a SNES game like Populous would net more worth, and that’s when he told me I’d get 4 dollars for it. My heart sank, after that I knew Wrath of the Black Manta wouldn’t be more than 3 dollars, but hey, I guess 3 dollars wouldn’t be so bad. Then he tells me the worth of Black Manta, an embarrassing 50 cents. To be honest, I would have asked for them all back, but when I handed the games to him he made it sound like as he scanned them, I wouldn’t be able to get them back. Hey, I was little, what did I know? The man printed out a receipt for $7.50 worth of credit, with that I bought a crusty used copy of Metroid for the NES… which was $8.50, so I had to dig into my pockets to scrap together enough change to purchase that. It was a sad day when 3 games kept in mint condition turned into one, beat up game, that is older than all of those titles, plus one dollar.

What it comes down to is that Gamestop is not just the store where they sell ‘ass penny DS games’ (see Shamoozal Radio 04) but that they’re also the sex offenders of the game industry, taking advantage of little kids everywhere after inviting them into their home. I know for a fact if some kid gave me a game and I told him he’d get 50 cents for it, I’d hand the kid 50 cents and let him keep his game.

However, like an abused child, I never quite learned my lesson and once in a while I’ll trade something in at Gamestop. Maybe I like being abused. They say abused people tend to hang out with abusive people or be in abusive relationships. Maybe Gamestop isn’t any different. The following are items that I regret trading in at Gamestop for various different reasons.

Einhander (PS1) - I learned something from trading in a game like Einhander, and it’s that if you bring in a game like this, you have power over the store clerks. For those that don’t know, Einhander is a rare PS1 shooter from Square, which means that Square nerds pitch tents at the thought of it. I bought the game when I worked at KB for 10 dollars, and I thought it was a decent shooter, but I decided to trade it in for some stupid reason. Anyway, I brought it to Gamestop and you would have thought I just brought in the Ark of the Covenant. These guys immediately turned into animals, fighting over who was going to get it after I trade it in, especially when the one clerk mentioned how it was in brand new condition. I didn’t take advantage of the situation then, but I should have held an auction right then and there and see which one of those suckers would have coughed up enough cash for it. Seriously, they were going insane, screaming for people in the back to come out, and I’m pretty sure I saw another guy get on the phone with a buddy. What I really should have done was leave with the game telling them I changed my mind. In the end, I got 15 dollars credit for it, so I made 5 dollars and probably made some ones day. Still, once in a while I wish I kept it, as it really wasn’t a half bad game.

Nintendo Gamecube - My Gamecube died and I had already bought a new one. It had enough juice in it that sometimes it would work. I figured I’d bring it to Gamestop and see if I can get any credit for it. The plan was that if they fire it up and it works I would get full credit for it. About time I showed these jerks a thing or two, right? They turn it on and of course it doesn’t work. They tell me that they’ll give me 10 dollars credit for the dead unit. I told them that was fine, accepted the credit and then bought Shadow of the Colossus. As soon as I left the store it dawned on me that I should have just kept the Gamecube. First, the controller alone is worth more than the 10 dollars credit, and my newer model Gamecube is “smart” and doesn’t let me use my old Freeloader disc so I can’t play my Japanese version GBA Player anymore. Like I said, it worked here and there, so the GBA games would have worked fine. Oh well. I guess that is the price I pay when I try to show Gamestop up.

Wrath of the Black Manta (NES) - This game is pure crap, but at least it’s worth cranking out once in a while to get some laughs out of it. The laughs in this game are worth way more than 50 cents. Want to hear the worst part? I bought the game again nearly 10 years later when Gamestop was clearing out their NES games. I bought the game for 99 cents, so the bastards still made money off me and once again had me by the balls. Curse you Gamestop, curse you.

Super Tennis (SNES) - I don’t know what I was thinking when I traded this classic SNES game in. How could I let Barb down like that? I realized I missed having all Barb two on two matches so I bought the game again the same day I bought Black Manta for the second time.

Xenosaga (PS2) - I bought this at Toys R Us brand new for 5 dollars. I had every intention to play it one day, and then when I finally got around to it I just wasn’t feeling it. So it took the trip to Gamestop with me where I traded in that and Chaos Legion (which I bought for the same price along with Xenosaga, and it’s awful). The clerk was impressed with how it looked and I got 10 dollars credit for it, so again I made 5 bucks. Once in a while though, I still think that maybe I should have given the game more of a fair chance.

Perfect Dark (N64) - Back in the day people were praising Perfect Dark as the second coming of Goldeneye, but I knew all along that it was a steaming pile of crap. PD is not Goldeneye, and it was an unplayable, poorly designed, and ugly mess. How this thing scored three perfect 10s in EGM blows my mind to this day, but at least they see the error of their ways. So I traded in Perfect Dark and the equally overrated and unplayable Turok 2. That said, god I still wish I had that game. The cut scenes in it are absolutely hilarious. The awful voice acting, coupled with retarded character animation (even in those days), along with the crummy music really propelled Perfect Dark into interstellar levels of comedy.

Those are just a few of the items I regret trading in. Xenosaga was the last game I ever traded in, and after that I don’t think I’m going to trade in anything else ever again. How about you guys?